Kiss
Puke
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize