I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
