I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You pole danced in your parka.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
