ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize