We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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