the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
