New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Boobs are out for the taking
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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