u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
