i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize