I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
