And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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