from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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