I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
