that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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