Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm too high and old for this...
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
