And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
