So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
