Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
