My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
