Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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