where does the pee come out of this thing
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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