i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
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