I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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