it wasn't lemon gatorade
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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