i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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