During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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