I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
