drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
