I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
