I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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