I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
