I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
