We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
