I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
PANTIES FOUND
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
