Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
