ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
