I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
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