she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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