Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
