THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
