Is it normal to miss your booty call?
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
