I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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