Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
