My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
