My nipple is on Facebook.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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