Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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