He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
