look no pants
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
