I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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