it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize