oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
