literally had 100 drinks last night.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
