I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
