i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
