There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
