I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
