A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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