I think im going to throw up on grandma
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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