The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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