really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
