Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
