ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
