Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize