I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
