great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
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